Photo by Vladimir Yelizarov on Unsplash

Why do I have to show you how ugly it could be?

Said we’re taking a break

Don’t let there be anyone after me

Rummaging through my purse

Where the fuck are my keys?

You’ve done enough

Now I want to leave

Is it my mistake? 

That you convinced me

Too convincing

It’s the delusional state that gets me

Took a break from my healing

Cautious but I got caught up in my feelings

What a feeling, to feel things

At this point 

If it’s all made up it’s still the same thing

• July 04, 2023
• Poetry

Convincing

Photo by Vladimir Yelizarov on Unsplash

Why do I have to show you how ugly it could be?

Said we’re taking a break

Don’t let there be anyone after me

Rummaging through my purse

Where the fuck are my keys?

You’ve done enough

Now I want to leave

Is it my mistake? 

That you convinced me

Too convincing

It’s the delusional state that gets me

Took a break from my healing

Cautious but I got caught up in my feelings

What a feeling, to feel things

At this point 

If it’s all made up it’s still the same thing

Read more »

 

Whew! What a fucking year! I would say regardless of how this year went. I'm grateful to have gone through, got over, cried ( like a lot lol), experienced everything that I did. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Everything is meant to shape who we're meant to be. I feel so powerful from this year alone. When I say timing is everything and trusting your instincts is so imperative. 

I repeat TIMING IS EVERYTHING AND TRUSTING YOUR INSTINCTS IS SO IMPERATIVE.

What I reflect on this year the most I'd say is not conforming to assumptions about me. Whether those assumptions pertain to my personal life or social media life. I found the beauty in letting people who are set on viewing me a certain way or set to misunderstand me stay in what I'd like to call, "the island". In everyone's life regardless of whether it's family, friends, etc. place people exactly where they belong. I've been the one in the past always trying to show evidence to defend myself from people who weren't even valid because being perceived as "perfect" was a fragile part of my ego that I was so set on not being what "they" were trying to make me out to be. Not knowing in doing that I was giving them MY power. So I called that shit back. Sometimes no reaction is the best reaction. Now I'm not saying I won't react but it would take an awful lot. Once I gained that control back I then began to pitty the people on "the island". I also pray for the people on the island. I also began to look at life differently. Here I am 29 years old and I can say I'm living the life I've always envisioned when I was younger.

I also learned it's okay to unlearn certain things. It's okay to like what you like. It's okay to love who you love. Everything is okay if you want it to be. To change, grow, and make room for the person you want to be. Most people like to pretend that they have everything together but in reality, we ALL have things we need to change. Growth is beautiful and it's part of life. Mental health is so important and I would strongly suggest getting therapy even if you feel like you don't need it. Being able to vent as I do through my poetry, speaking to my therapist, or even blogging this it's nice.

Regardless of what I've lost, gained, or got clarity on I'm thankful and so blessed to be in good health, living in my truth, standing in my womanhood, and most of all being unapologetic. I have no complaints. 

To my dear friend Joe I lost this year I love you and thank you for the wise words and kindness, you've shown me. To my grandma Ola, the most unapologetic woman I've ever known I still find myself laughing at our conversations. I miss you and love you dearly. 

• December 29, 2021
• featured

Best Regards, Aleya.

 

Whew! What a fucking year! I would say regardless of how this year went. I'm grateful to have gone through, got over, cried ( like a lot lol), experienced everything that I did. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Everything is meant to shape who we're meant to be. I feel so powerful from this year alone. When I say timing is everything and trusting your instincts is so imperative. 

I repeat TIMING IS EVERYTHING AND TRUSTING YOUR INSTINCTS IS SO IMPERATIVE.

What I reflect on this year the most I'd say is not conforming to assumptions about me. Whether those assumptions pertain to my personal life or social media life. I found the beauty in letting people who are set on viewing me a certain way or set to misunderstand me stay in what I'd like to call, "the island". In everyone's life regardless of whether it's family, friends, etc. place people exactly where they belong. I've been the one in the past always trying to show evidence to defend myself from people who weren't even valid because being perceived as "perfect" was a fragile part of my ego that I was so set on not being what "they" were trying to make me out to be. Not knowing in doing that I was giving them MY power. So I called that shit back. Sometimes no reaction is the best reaction. Now I'm not saying I won't react but it would take an awful lot. Once I gained that control back I then began to pitty the people on "the island". I also pray for the people on the island. I also began to look at life differently. Here I am 29 years old and I can say I'm living the life I've always envisioned when I was younger.

I also learned it's okay to unlearn certain things. It's okay to like what you like. It's okay to love who you love. Everything is okay if you want it to be. To change, grow, and make room for the person you want to be. Most people like to pretend that they have everything together but in reality, we ALL have things we need to change. Growth is beautiful and it's part of life. Mental health is so important and I would strongly suggest getting therapy even if you feel like you don't need it. Being able to vent as I do through my poetry, speaking to my therapist, or even blogging this it's nice.

Regardless of what I've lost, gained, or got clarity on I'm thankful and so blessed to be in good health, living in my truth, standing in my womanhood, and most of all being unapologetic. I have no complaints. 

To my dear friend Joe I lost this year I love you and thank you for the wise words and kindness, you've shown me. To my grandma Ola, the most unapologetic woman I've ever known I still find myself laughing at our conversations. I miss you and love you dearly. 

Read more »

Photo by Ameen Fahmy 

 

Laying on my back

Rainbows and cumulus clouds

Always holding on to your smile

Hold hands while we love

As you fall

I be up up

Thinking about you

Thinking about us

I’m stuck

Stuck up in love with you

I’ll dive to the moon with you

I meant I’ll drive to the moon with you

However, we get there

We'll get there

Baby, I’m stuck with you

But then that switch clicks 

So this ain't that 

And that damn sure ain't it

I won’t go to hell and back with you

I mean

It’s cool when we pretend

Just because we have good energy

Don’t make that a way to make amends

Play fights masked behind violent truths

So who’s to blame when we’re both insane

I’m stuck with you

Until we crash and burn seems like I'll never learn my lesson

-Aleya Angelique

• November 18, 2021
• featured

Crash & Burn

Photo by Ameen Fahmy 

 

Laying on my back

Rainbows and cumulus clouds

Always holding on to your smile

Hold hands while we love

As you fall

I be up up

Thinking about you

Thinking about us

I’m stuck

Stuck up in love with you

I’ll dive to the moon with you

I meant I’ll drive to the moon with you

However, we get there

We'll get there

Baby, I’m stuck with you

But then that switch clicks 

So this ain't that 

And that damn sure ain't it

I won’t go to hell and back with you

I mean

It’s cool when we pretend

Just because we have good energy

Don’t make that a way to make amends

Play fights masked behind violent truths

So who’s to blame when we’re both insane

I’m stuck with you

Until we crash and burn seems like I'll never learn my lesson

-Aleya Angelique

Read more »

 S.O.U.R. - Some Of  Us Rushing 

Photo by JEFERSON GOMES

Without a doubt

You know I run to you?

Give up a lung if possible

Make me feel like I’m ten feet tall

Lift me you up and break down my walls

Guardian angel?

Bless all these angles

Cause sometimes cupid goes stupid with his crossbow

Fool or acrobatic for you?

Know I like to get loose

Build my foundation

As you remove my foundation 

Because either way, I'm beautiful to you

I run my fountain over you

We're in our youth

Make me laugh at my highest pitch

Pin me up in the dressing room 

Like I'm your bitch...

Or Mona Lisa?

Admire my complex features

So in my mind, I devour you

Piece by piece we play in the sheets

Outline my coloring

It gets so messy 

So baby please don't test me

With a picture or title

Worship me like your idol

Get crazy when I get idle

I run my fountain over you

Loving you I feel like I’m in my youth

• July 30, 2021
• featured

S.O.U.R.

 S.O.U.R. - Some Of  Us Rushing 

Photo by JEFERSON GOMES

Without a doubt

You know I run to you?

Give up a lung if possible

Make me feel like I’m ten feet tall

Lift me you up and break down my walls

Guardian angel?

Bless all these angles

Cause sometimes cupid goes stupid with his crossbow

Fool or acrobatic for you?

Know I like to get loose

Build my foundation

As you remove my foundation 

Because either way, I'm beautiful to you

I run my fountain over you

We're in our youth

Make me laugh at my highest pitch

Pin me up in the dressing room 

Like I'm your bitch...

Or Mona Lisa?

Admire my complex features

So in my mind, I devour you

Piece by piece we play in the sheets

Outline my coloring

It gets so messy 

So baby please don't test me

With a picture or title

Worship me like your idol

Get crazy when I get idle

I run my fountain over you

Loving you I feel like I’m in my youth

Read more »

Photo by JPphotoMIAMI

 
It's been three years and we relived 1029
Three years to realize that my body is the temple that you call Home
I go crazy with the moans
Safe I’m in the zone
With you, I feel bulletproof
As you begin to bang into me
The vibrations of my body
Create its frequency
On top or underneath, we skip no beats
We always knew we had it like that
You always knew you had me like that
I always knew we’d end up right back
Cause only you can get me so wet
The truth
So tell me how I look from that back?
Is that the view that got you like that?
Water me because I’m thirsty like that
Be on a mission when in missionary
Baby your eyes they’re very telling
But I want you to whisper it in my ear
So come closer to me
Kiss on my rings
Lick on rings
Breathe on my rings
Keep touching me
Not ashamed of a damn thing
Bring out the freak in me
I love your grip
Baby don’t release me
I know you want this so frequently
I squeeze as you go deeper into me
Might scoot but I never run from a thing
Fuck me on the flooring cause we messing up my things
IKEA in the morning baby I ain’t playing
So what are you saying?
Baby, what are you saying?
Kiss on my rings
Lick on rings
Breathe on my rings

• July 17, 2021
• featured

My Rings

Photo by JPphotoMIAMI

 
It's been three years and we relived 1029
Three years to realize that my body is the temple that you call Home
I go crazy with the moans
Safe I’m in the zone
With you, I feel bulletproof
As you begin to bang into me
The vibrations of my body
Create its frequency
On top or underneath, we skip no beats
We always knew we had it like that
You always knew you had me like that
I always knew we’d end up right back
Cause only you can get me so wet
The truth
So tell me how I look from that back?
Is that the view that got you like that?
Water me because I’m thirsty like that
Be on a mission when in missionary
Baby your eyes they’re very telling
But I want you to whisper it in my ear
So come closer to me
Kiss on my rings
Lick on rings
Breathe on my rings
Keep touching me
Not ashamed of a damn thing
Bring out the freak in me
I love your grip
Baby don’t release me
I know you want this so frequently
I squeeze as you go deeper into me
Might scoot but I never run from a thing
Fuck me on the flooring cause we messing up my things
IKEA in the morning baby I ain’t playing
So what are you saying?
Baby, what are you saying?
Kiss on my rings
Lick on rings
Breathe on my rings

Read more »

 

Photo by Francisco José Murcia G. 

No capacity for love so I fill it up with lust

would it make sense if we rode carousels like what the hell as we spin around in emotions?...

Projections off you

A movie set for two 

Create projects in me

Manifestations of the inevitable

Reality creeps up

Like your lips on my neck

You catch my breath

Like I caught that subtweet

When I showed a hand in my story

What you held is his to upkeep

You unkept promise

You know that shit makes me nervous

Become a different person

Nice to meet you

Because you never knew me

My ass to slap

His heart to hold you

My jaw flinched

Your bitch is bold

-Aleya Angelique 

• July 11, 2021
• featured

Carousels

 

Photo by Francisco José Murcia G. 

No capacity for love so I fill it up with lust

would it make sense if we rode carousels like what the hell as we spin around in emotions?...

Projections off you

A movie set for two 

Create projects in me

Manifestations of the inevitable

Reality creeps up

Like your lips on my neck

You catch my breath

Like I caught that subtweet

When I showed a hand in my story

What you held is his to upkeep

You unkept promise

You know that shit makes me nervous

Become a different person

Nice to meet you

Because you never knew me

My ass to slap

His heart to hold you

My jaw flinched

Your bitch is bold

-Aleya Angelique 

Read more »

 

Photo by Houcine Ncib 

Lighthearted
A tad bit emotionless
So pathetic, I'm empathetic 
Want to control this shit?
I do then most and then toast to all the other shit
I outsmarted your main nigga
My ex nigga for talking slick
Now kick this shit
I relaxed my shit three months ago
Figured if I straightened out then all my old shit would grow
But who knows?
My divine you still live rent-free in my mind
Take your shoes off 
You're known to knock the boots off
And do I ever come across as a woman of my kind?
My lips sealed on somethings
You used to love when I did cartwheels like boomerangs
A nice thing 
Like shiny things 
Never get dull in the dark 
You know I used to act a fool in the dark 
I lose my cool 
I light your spark
Us after dark 
Less involved
All around well rounded
I will pass up the opportunity to open up
And shut down in min. 

I feel closed off
Purple rain is what I sing to
Cause we not the same
I'm not ashamed 
But I go stupid when it comes to you
Like a adolescent, you’d think I would’ve learned my lesson
Another retrograde
Some more throwing shade
You know I like to misbehave

-Aleya Angelique @ 1:16 a.m.

• July 11, 2021
• featured

Vibrant Toxic

 

Photo by Houcine Ncib 

Lighthearted
A tad bit emotionless
So pathetic, I'm empathetic 
Want to control this shit?
I do then most and then toast to all the other shit
I outsmarted your main nigga
My ex nigga for talking slick
Now kick this shit
I relaxed my shit three months ago
Figured if I straightened out then all my old shit would grow
But who knows?
My divine you still live rent-free in my mind
Take your shoes off 
You're known to knock the boots off
And do I ever come across as a woman of my kind?
My lips sealed on somethings
You used to love when I did cartwheels like boomerangs
A nice thing 
Like shiny things 
Never get dull in the dark 
You know I used to act a fool in the dark 
I lose my cool 
I light your spark
Us after dark 
Less involved
All around well rounded
I will pass up the opportunity to open up
And shut down in min. 

I feel closed off
Purple rain is what I sing to
Cause we not the same
I'm not ashamed 
But I go stupid when it comes to you
Like a adolescent, you’d think I would’ve learned my lesson
Another retrograde
Some more throwing shade
You know I like to misbehave

-Aleya Angelique @ 1:16 a.m.

Read more »