Photo by Cristian Newman 


Unpack
I want to unpack all of my feelings & put them on a shelf
So I can stand back and look at them in "awe"
An innocent realization that I fell & a safety net was never guaranteed
The net was never meant to catch me, not my safety net, catching someone else


My mind ponders on things I could have done differently
Maybe if I would have done this or didn't do that
Though we're not in a relationship when you find another lover
I'll feel like an ex

Next, as I digest this mess
You bounce, my memory is faded so the only memory that I have to fulfill my solitude
Is  now by reading through old text
I craved a love so deep that even when I wasn't my best I was still the best
Though many have come before me I hate feeling like I'm next
Contemplating where I went wrong
Did I give it my best

We're friends it shouldn't hurt like this
Oneday if the time comes I  should be able to move on
You know, don't think about it too much, call it quits
But no
I sit up like a woman and just take it
Hit after hit
This shit is starting to settle in
I feel like a projector with no screen with feelings you want me to project

But I protect my heart and guard it now with everything I have left
As I put my last regard of feelings back on the shelf

-Aleya Angelique , xoxo