Photo by me Aleya Angelique 
Currently listening to W.A.Y.S. by Jhenè Aiko


Quarantine: I think that when we sit with ourselves long enough we began to peel back the layers that are so easy to hide when amongst others

Like an artichoke, the hardest layers are the ones that are the most visible

But what happens when we get to the softer pieces that we hide from others

We battle with our demons, experiences that shaped us, and come head-on with our insecurities in silence in hopes that no one has to ever ask what’s wrong? Because you have some hope that they should already know.

So what happens is we become complacent

If we can hide from ourselves no one will know

How much we all need help

Like the blind leading the blind and the help is asking the helpless it’s taboo

When we sit with ourselves long enough

Colors will begin to show and some of the brightest ones have the darkest secrets


I sat with myself long enough and wrote down all of my flaws, insecurities, and burdens that were placed on me as well as burdens I placed on myself


I sat with myself long enough to study my behavior and monetize my energy to a low vibration

Just to see how much I could take

Self-inflicted many would say

But that’s how I deal with things

I would love to be able to reach out and as for help but exactly is that?


I placed myself in front of a mirror and pointed out physical things I was insecure about whether if it was my own or opinion of others


I replayed rumors about myself and got off on the fantasies that were whispered a decade ago that still seem to pop back up like an obsessed ex to this day

I never knew I did all that

Never knew a simple woman like me had it like that in the meek stages of my teenage years


I’ve dealt with all of that


I encourage others during this time of solace to deal with things you are uncomfortable talking about

To peel back those layers and learn to love everything that shaped you

I encourage you to face your demons and insecurities and not place them off on others



Rather than start a war with yourself

You’d rather start a war with people who care about you because it’s easier

Then battle your demons

Wave the white flag and surrender your emotions, fears, and doubts

And become the person that you have the potential to be